I have had this picture on my cell phone lock screen since the day my brother Clayton passed away. I cropped it out of a picture with my brothers from a trip we took in 2016. We spent a week going up the coast of Maine and a day out on a sailing yacht in Camden Bay. I keep thinking it is time to change it, but decided that day might be today, April 6, 2020. This would have been my Brother Clayton's 68th Birthday. It has been a crazy few months since he passed away. We had two other deaths in the family, in the midst of a worldwide pandemic and locally, in Salt Lake, we also had an earthquake. One bright spot would be the fact that Clayton would appreciate how the United States has had to become dependent on online learning both in K-12 and in Higher Education. Clayton often took grief through the years from other academic scholars that there must be some level of satisfaction to see the world dependent on it in order to continue student education.
Saturday's mention of Clayton by Elder Neil L. Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was also a reminder of how much Clayton loved the gospel of Jesus Christ and his most favorite work, sharing the gospel with others. It also demonstrates how his testimony continues to bless the Church in numerous ways.
While our parents had us at opposite ends of the family, I was always grateful how Clayton looked out for me and was desirous to have me succeed. Clayton's sacrifices on my behalf were many and I can honestly point to numerous times, when Clayton's example of love and kindness has helped me to succeed. Early on, I just wanted to follow Clayton's pathway, but it became apparent that it would be nearly impossible to follow. I was OK with modest outcomes but I was always touched when Clayton called me after a visit to Utah and indicated how someone had introduced him as Carlton's brother. While those were few and far between, it was always kind of him to call.
Clayton's marriage to Christine Quinn had a profound impact on our family. They were an amazing partnership of kindness and courtesy that were the consummate example for my wife and me to follow. There were never modest dinners in their home and Christine continues to be an important part of our family. This last January on the week after New Years, when my brother Spencer and I spent a week in Boston caring for my brother, I was reminded of how dedicated Christine was to his physical ability to function. Christine worked long and hard in hopes of Clayton living and skirting past death one more time. I can't imagine anything she could have done differently and in many ways, couldn't think of his living during this current pandemic with a compromised immune system.
Clayton's ease of comfort, weather it be with national or international leaders, or the person down the street, he always made them feel the same. Everyone felt valued by him and some of the most touching things following his death are the numerous times individuals have conveyed their interactions with him and how important he made them feel. Some might be expected, but most were not.
Clayton was always instrumental in the gathering of our family. Whether it was General Conference times where we gathered for Priesthood Meeting or family vacations, including a week on an Alaskan Cruise. It was Clayton and Christine's kindness that enabled those gatherings to happen and they continue to be wonderful memories for all of us.
My family was one of modest means. We learned much from both our parents and learned how to have fun through some very simple activities. That notion of getting hands dirty and just doing what it takes to get the job done, working with our children and not being afraid to try something new. That value or understanding that each experience is a privilege and not a right and we should never stop trying to understand how something might be done better.
Today, I may change my lock screen and wallpaper from pictures those with Clayton, but I don't think I will every delete his contact. My hope is that Clayton might still call one day, tell me what he is doing and which really cool people he met. Happy Birthday dearest brother, and thanks for being such a great example.
