Miracles often come through the kind acts of others - blessing both!

Our living room acted as an assemblage area for
our Sub for Santa project.

2020 hasn't been the year I would have foreseen.  While we all wish for changes in life's circumstances, there have been many miracles to go with these challenges. These miracles have come through blessings in my life that came from the kind act of others.  While I certainly was able to render assistance to others, I just wanted to take a few minutes and share how different acts of others, were direct answers to my prayers.  A testament to the fact that our Heavenly Father often blesses our lives by the acts of others, ultimately blessing both.

Replacing our driveway from 
rutted asphalt to concrete

For many years, 90 feet of our back driveway, which was put in by my mother in the late 70's became rutted and challenged.  I had tried some spot repairs with asphalt cold patch, which helped for a while, but eventually it was beyond repair. While I had tried to get bids to repair it, I actually couldn't get anyone to come look at it and it seemed like there was no great path.  My brother-in-law Bill Nielsen offered to help us pour a new section with concrete.  My neighbor Brandon, who also wanted to do a driveway extension as well, offered to rent a skidster and help remove the old asphalt. Brandon also helped us pour our concrete.  It also just happened that the Federal Government decided to do stimulus checks, providing me the needed gap money to pay for the concrete.  What seemed insurmountable, found a solution through the kind acts of others.  

Rose Park & Riverside Stakes efforts to provide
firewood for the Navajo Nation

Last September, on the day after Labor Day, our community experienced hurricane force winds, causing many of our canopy trees to come down.  As I looked at piles of trees on both sides of the streets in my community, it seemed like no easy solution would be available to us in the short term, however neighbor after neighbor helped each other remove trees that seemed formidable and with the help of crews from the Utah Department of Transportation, our community was cleaned up in a matter of a few weeks.  Near the conclusion of this effort, word came to us to provide firewood for the Navajo Nation which had been hurt severely by the COVID pandemic.  Each Stake in our area had been asked to provide a semi load of wood, but much of our wood had been picked up.  However the call went out, we collected the equivalent of two semi loads together with the Rose Park and Riverside Stakes but when it came time to have the wood loaded, we had been unable to secure a front-end loader to load the wood.  We had exhausted all our sources, when I knelt down and prayed, asking my Heavenly Father for help.  When I arose, I decided to call a rancher down the street from our church recreation property and he graciously provided us a front end loader free of charge.  We loaded both semi trucks in an evening.

Presents loaded in the car to take to our 
Sub for Santa family

A few weeks ago in my Rotary club, they asked for volunteers to help families attending a very modest neighborhood school on the west side of Salt Lake City.  I had decided it would be a good experience for my family, so I volunteered.  I didn't think much about it, until a few weeks ago, when a day after my furnace was declared dead requiring us to not only replace it, but a second furnace in my basement as well, I received an email outlining a family of four children, who had some very basic needs for Christmas.  We decided we could use our credit card and meet the commitment, but then felt like I should ask family and friends if they wanted to help.  Over the next five days, contributions in cash and items came generously to the cause.  A dear friend and her husband who works for a local retailer offered to purchase items on his employee day, saving us substantial money.  A local neighborhood business owner, brought over a gift card to a local grocery store, others brought stockings, toys and my own family contributed time and efforts.  When we delivered the items last night, we discovered that neither the father or the mother had been able to work, the father was recovering from a recent surgery and as the children carried the wrapped presents in, the joy on their face were unmatched.  What personally hit me hard, was to see the joy on the father and mother's faces that they were able to provide Christmas for their children.  And finally to watch the children be excited as they rolled their new bicycles into their homes.   It was a sweet sight to see.  All in all, nearly 15 people helped us in different ways to help someone else.  It was a miracle and in the end, our own cash outlay, was very modest, and the joy we shared with others, was a tender mercy this Christmas season.  

New bicycles strapped down on the trailer to
deliver to each of the four children.  Provided by
the generosity of others and through the discount of a friend

 

Lois Greaves Nielsen - My Other Mom

"Mom" looking on after the Wedding 
Ceremony of Carlton & Cathy Christensen

I first met Lois Nielsen when I arrived at her home to pick up her daughter Cathleen in what was a "blind date" on February 10, 1990 at their home in Layton, Utah.  When I came into their home, I noticed nearly an entire wall filled with pictures.  I was amazed at the quantity, and replied, "Do all these people belong to you, or did you just keep the inserts that came with the frames?"  I think we hit it off from there.  What I didn't realize that evening, is what a profound impact she would have on my life and my family.  I often amazed at the joy she garners from the simplicities in life and the satisfaction of some of the more basic elements in her life.  Early on in our marriage, Lois and her husband Frank Nielsen allowed me to call them "Mom and Dad" respectively.  Sixteen years after the passing of my last parent, she remains the only living grandparent to our children and I am grateful for the continued influence she has upon our family.

Mom was born to William Lloyd and Olive Hill Greaves.  Born in the middle of her family, her father worked for much of his career at the printing presses of the Deseret News and her mother, later for Bennet Paint.  They raised their family in a modest home located on West Temple in what is now known as South Salt Lake.  They were faithful members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and served in a variety of ways in the Church, helping family and helping neighbors.

Lois is on the far right, middle row

Mom married Franklin Harvey Nielsen at the age of 19.  Their married life started up near Dad's family farm located in Marion, Summit County, Utah.  There were many challenging days as they raised their family.  They moved often to find good employment and their entertainment of the family often came from within the family and their conversations.  Even today, once the Nielsen Family gets going, unless it is a topic you want to engage with, you should have a project you can go and do.  There is no stopping them!  Their frequent relocation, often living in cities where they didn't own their home, certainly could have created instability, but they both did an amazing job in keeping their family together and making the best of what life provided.

Frank and Lois on their wedding day

When Frank & Lois finally secured a home on Camelot Drive in Layton, it became in part, their castle where they did the best to provide for their family.  Music was an integral part of raising their family and each child grew up singing together and sharing their talents.  While spouses have joined their musical groups from time to time, my participation is still pending.  Apparently singing on-key, is a requirement!  Dad in his later years became disabled.  A crippling disease that took its toll on his large frame, left him bent over and unable to get around without canes and a mobility cart.  It left Mom as the primary provider as she returned back to work and ultimately left her as a widow at a much earlier age than I am sure she anticipated.

Like any of us, their marriage while not perfect, was perfect in love.  As they progressed in life, they like the rest of us found forgiveness and kindness.  Honesty was always a staple of their life and they accepted the consequence of any mistakes.  They moved forward the best they could and just wanted happiness and love for their family.  I have seen Mom sacrifice much to have her children succeed.  She is not one for having a lot of physical possessions.  I imagine one day at her passing, you could really go through her personal belongings in less than a couple of hours.  Where her wealth lies, is in the conversations, the quilts, the bears and the baby blankets she makes for others. As one who has great faith with a focus on family, you frequently find her praying for her children and grandchildren. 

 

On a family vacation to Nauvoo, IL, mom agreed
to go horseback riding with Carlton's family.

Mom, a diligent student of the gospel of Jesus Christ, always wanted to visit Nauvoo, Illinois, an early settlement location for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  In 2004, Mom joined our young family and we visited it and other locations in Missouri.  It just so happened that my eldest brother Elliott was also there with his family, affording us some joint opportunities to be together.  One afternoon, they suggested we join them for a 2 hour horseback ride around the adjoining countryside.  It had been a few years since Mom had been on a horse, but in her usual, let's give it a try attitude and the help of a set of stairs, went for a ride.  We have loved her interactions with our family and it doesn't take much for me when projects need to be done around her home, to engage my daughters Jessica and Sarah.  They will do anything for Grandma.

In her acts of service, Mom makes stuffed bears for children.  She was looking for a home for them and I suggested the Police Department for the Utah Transit Authority  might could use them.  It's fair to say they are heavily subscribed to and officers use them to share with little children they encounter in the course of their service.  Mom has never been one to seek attention or need acknowledgement, but this year, after the need for isolation, we decided she needed a few people to wish her Happy Birthday.  Last May, when she turned 82, the UTA police were kind enough to pay her a visit.  I kept it a surprise and it definitely made her day.  

I am often getting in trouble with Mom, when I do projects around her house.  She thinks I spend too much, but I think I don't do enough.  I have such gratitude for the goodness of this wonderful woman who has allowed me to be part of her life.  I am grateful for the impact she has had in her family and upon mine.  I am the direct benefactor of her youngest daughter Cathy, our children Jessica and Sarah and most importantly her testimony of faith and fortitude.  I am grateful to have two moms in my life.

 

Happy Birthday Clayton - My life was blessed the day you were born!

I have had this picture on my cell phone lock screen since the day my brother Clayton passed away.  I cropped it out of a picture with my brothers from a trip we took in 2016.  We spent a week going up the coast of Maine and a day out on a sailing yacht in Camden Bay.  I keep thinking it is time to change it, but decided that day might be today, April 6, 2020.  This would have been my Brother Clayton's 68th Birthday.  It has been a crazy few months since he passed away.  We had two other deaths in the family, in the midst of a worldwide pandemic and locally, in Salt Lake, we also had an earthquake.  One bright spot would be the fact that Clayton would appreciate how the United States has had to become dependent on online learning both in K-12 and in Higher Education.  Clayton often took grief through the years from other academic scholars that there must be some level of satisfaction to see the world dependent on it in order to continue student education.

Saturday's mention of Clayton by Elder Neil L. Andersen of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was also a reminder of how much Clayton loved the gospel of Jesus Christ and his most favorite work, sharing the gospel with others.  It also demonstrates how his testimony continues to bless the Church in numerous ways.

While our parents had us at opposite ends of the family, I was always grateful how Clayton looked out for me and was desirous to have me succeed.  Clayton's sacrifices on my behalf were many and I can honestly point to numerous times, when Clayton's example of love and kindness has helped me to succeed.  Early on, I just wanted to follow Clayton's pathway, but it became apparent that it would be nearly impossible to follow.  I was OK with modest outcomes but I was always touched when Clayton called me after a visit to Utah and indicated how someone had introduced him as Carlton's brother.  While those were few and far between, it was always kind of him to call.

Clayton's marriage to Christine Quinn had a profound impact on our family.  They were an amazing partnership of kindness and courtesy that were the consummate example for my wife and me to follow.  There were never modest dinners in their home and Christine continues to be an important part of our family.  This last January on the week after New Years, when my brother Spencer and I spent a week in Boston caring for my brother, I was reminded of how dedicated Christine was to his physical ability to function.  Christine worked long and hard in hopes of Clayton living and skirting past death one more time.  I can't imagine anything she could have done differently and in many ways, couldn't think of his living during this current pandemic with a compromised immune system.

Clayton's ease of comfort, weather it be with national or international leaders, or the person down the street, he always made them feel the same.  Everyone felt valued by him and some of the most touching things following his death are the numerous times individuals have conveyed their interactions with him and how important he made them feel.  Some might be expected, but most were not.

Clayton was always instrumental in the gathering of our family.  Whether it was General Conference times where we gathered for Priesthood Meeting or family vacations, including a week on an Alaskan Cruise.  It was Clayton and Christine's kindness that enabled those gatherings to happen and they continue to be wonderful memories for all of us.

My family was one of modest means.  We learned much from both our parents and learned how to have fun through some very simple activities.  That notion of getting hands dirty and just doing what it takes to get the job done, working with our children and not being afraid to try something new.  That value or understanding that each experience is a privilege and not a right and we should never stop trying to understand how something might be done better.

Today, I may change my lock screen and wallpaper from pictures those with Clayton, but I don't think I will every delete his contact.  My hope is that Clayton might still call one day, tell me what he is doing and which really cool people he met.  Happy Birthday dearest brother, and thanks for being such a great example.