Celebrating 25 years from our first date

Carlton and Cathy- Attending Sundance in Park City

On February 10, 1990 I went on a blind date with Cathleen Nielsen.  What I probably would not have guessed at that time, is what a change for the better would happen in my life.  I was 24 years old, serving as the Elders Quorum President of the Rose Park Ninth Ward and attending the University of Utah.  We had a Valentines Dinner for Quorum members and their spouses/guest and when I announced to my counselors that I had intended to bring my mother, drew a rash of criticism and ridicule that I knew it was no longer an option.  I was a little gun shy after having another girl I thought I liked, indicate she had no interest in me.  I had resolved the fact that I was going to be single for a while, so I even purchased a large snow blower knowing I would be at my mom's home for a few years more!

A week or so prior, Marianne Jensen, who worked the front office in my brother Elliott's work, came up to me with a slip of paper that had a girl's name and phone number written on it.  Marianne had just had lunch with Cathy, because her husband worked in Cathy's office at the Church Office Building.  I decided to just give it a shot, what did I have to lose.  When I called, much to my surprise, she said sure.  She reported to me the other day, that I sounded a little monotone (ok, I do) and a lack of inflection in the old voice.   Despite what she thought could have been Ferris Buehler's teacher, she said yes.  As I drove out to Layton to pick her up, passing a lot of farm land at the time, thought, gee, this is the last time I'm going out with this girl, she lives too far away.

When I drove up, her father was working in the yard with her brother and had a chain saw.  Left a strong impression that I was not to mess with this girl.  She was cute, good form, if you know what I mean, and blue mascara.  Ok, I think it was trendy at the time.  Not quite sure what impression she had of me, but she did get in the car.  I enjoyed her candor, interest in me and as we returned to the Church, I put her right to work getting ready for the dinner.  She was in the kitchen working, when our Bishop's wife came up and confronted me and asked, "Who is that girl in the kitchen?" to which I replied, "Cathleen Nielsen, I think, I just met her 40 minutes ago".  Dixie Martinson then replied, "You're lying, you've been hiding her."  Well I wasn't, and 40 minutes on a first date and putting her to work was a good sign that she was committed to the gospel, if not to me!  We had a nice evening together and as I took her home, thought I needed to go out with her again.

A few days later it was Valentines Day.  I wanted to send her flowers, but wondered if that was too pushy after one date.  When I went to the florist, I struggled with the thought do I get her red roses, or is that too strong.  I found a small set of miniature pink roses.  I wrote her a note, spelled Cathy "Kathy", which still gets done on occasion by my family and had them delivered.  I called later that day or the next to ask her out and to see if she received the flowers.  Timing was perfect, the other guys in the scene had not sent anything, mine were nice but not to pushy and yes, I got a second date out of it.

Long story short, we were engaged six weeks later, I've made the trip to Layton many times, and I can't think of a better soul mate in my life, than Cathleen Nielsen Christensen.  Just a good reminder, that a little persecution and ridicule in one's life makes you do some of the things you should, but not might want to do!

Getting rid of the clutter in your life!

Campaign signs assembled but never used

In politics, the process of running is never easy, nor inexpensive.  You also are not sure from one term to the next, what you might do four years later.  For all intent and purposes, you leave your options open.  When I ran my last race in 2009, I ordered a number of signs because it's cheaper to do them at the same time, and assembled them all.  As the campaign progressed, I ended up not needing all of them, however even after winning that race, decided to not get rid of those assembled signs.  While I wasn't sure what I might do in 2013, I was pretty sure that was my last city council race.  However you keep your options open, and I kept my signs.  They've taken up a corner of my garage for 5 1/2 years now and even though of I've been out of office now for over a year, have "haunted" me for some time.  They were a burden if you will.

Moving forward!

Saturday, I decided to do something about it, tore them down, cut up the sticks for fire wood and redeemed a corner of my garage so that I could move on and use it for other things.  As I was cutting up the wood, I got thinking of how many burdens we so often carry with us, often for much longer than we really need to carry them.  I thought of my role as Stake President, when I meet with individuals who have carried a burden in their life or a mistake they once made and are ready to forsake and move forward.  It's probably one of the most sweet and tender experiences for me to watch the atonement work in their eyes and mind.  It often brings tears to my own.  I completed the task with the resolve that I needed to free myself more often, be a little more resolved to let things go and work a little harder to clean up those corners in my life.

Rosa Parks Blvd

Unveiling of Street signage for Rose Parks Blvd

Friday evening Cathy and I watched the new movie "Selma" about the efforts to create a Federal Voting Rights Act, eliminating much of the discrimination that prevented individuals from being able to register to vote, particularly the poor and those of color.  It was a telling and sobering movie that has reminded us of how far we've come, yet what short sighted things we sometimes still do today.  If you haven't seen it, you should.  I don't know enough about what movie critics are looking for in picking Oscars, but this is a well done movie and worth the ticket price and will be a keeper when it comes out for personal use.

Friday evening reminded me of my own participation in the honorary street naming of 200 E in Salt Lake City to Rosa Parks Blvd.  I've always had a deep respect for the civil rights movement and certainly studied it extensively in my collegiate pursuits in history.  However I was pleasantly surprised, when I was approached by the Salt Lake Chapter of the NAACP a few years ago and their chapter president, Jeanetta Williams, who asked me what it would take to have a street named for Rose Parks and if I would be willing to take the lead.  We did some research among council staff and I had conversations with my colleagues at the time.  I felt like it should be a street that actually had buses on it, and it was also important that at some point, it intersected with 600 S - Martin Luther King Blvd and 500 S - Cesar Chavez Blvd.  Our rules required that the petitioner (in this case me) would have to bare the full cost of changing the street signs in addition to the council action required.  In an effort to address some of that cost, and to keep the change at a reasonable level, we decided to do the segment between South Temple and 600 S. My initial plan was to see if I could get a corporate partner to challenge match and then I would proceed to begin my fund raising effort.  My first stop was with my employer at the time, Zions Bank and I approached Scott Anderson, its President.  Scott asked me how much the total cost would be, and then wrote me a personal check for the entire amount.  I dare say, it was the easiest effort in raising funds that I've experienced, but I was so grateful for his person support.

Robert Rendon - Zions Bank, Mayor Rocky Anderson, myself, Gloria Wilkinson - Zions Bank
Jeanetta Williams - NAACP, Nancy Saxton, SLC Council and a representative of Youth City

Unfortunately the day of the unveiling, Scott was unable to join us but sent two friends from Zions Bank and we unveiled the signs in the Urban Room of the Salt Lake City Library.  Salt Lake City has since extended signage beyond 600 S and it always brings a feeling of pride and gratitude when I pass one of them.  I actually still have the one on the easel for my own personal memories.

I'm also grateful for Rose Parks.  My girls and I did some studying of her story so that we could better understand her sacrifice and the significance of the event.  Not only did it change history for those of color, but for women too.  The combination of those two things, often get overlooked and it was important for my girls to understand it.

On this Martin Luther King, Jr Day, I express my gratitude for the blessings of individuals, including Dr King who sacrificed much so we would be more tolerable, kinder and hold ourselves to a better standard.

He is the Gift - Greatest blessing in my life and a good reminder this time of the year

At this time of the year, with the heavy burdens we sometimes place upon ourselves in the hectic nature of Christmas, we sometimes look past the greatest gift of all, the birth of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  He is the reason, I have hope. He is the reason I can be forgiven and he is the reason I serve as Stake President of the Salt Lake Rose Park Stake.  I love everything about the birth of the Savior, his birth to a caring and virtuous mother, cared for by Joseph who soon learned his responsibility to the Christ child and his life of teaching and caring for those most in need.

In my role as lay clergy in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I see on a regular basis the power of his atonement in the lives of others and witnessing that strength as individuals make changes in their lives, reminds me that the greatest gift I can give to others is to introduce them to the gospel of Jesus Christ.  If you haven't seen this video, I would encourage you to do so, and share the gift with others.  Merry Christmas to you and thank you for letting me be a small part in your life.

My Mom helped me fix the vacuum cleaner

A walk along the Jordan River Parkway in the last year of my mom's life
with Jessica & Sarah my daughters and our dog Daisy

The title of this blog entry would keep you wondering about how my mother, who passed away in July of 2004 could have helped me fix my vacuum cleaner?  I do think it deserves some background and explanation.  I came home from work and received report that when Sarah had tried to use the vacuum earlier that day, it began to spark where the cord goes into the vacuum and quit on her.  While the vacuum doesn't owe us a lot, it wasn't something high on my list to replace and I had other places where the money could go.  I decided to take a look at it, and began to see where the cord had become separated and a wire broke.  I took the back off, cut the wire, re-spliced it and placed that new connection within the protective area and shortened the cord by about 4 inches and secured it into the vacuum, just like new.  Before putting the cover back on, the thought hit me, that it was my mother who had the insight for me to learn and the patience to work with me, that gave me the confidence to fix it.  I cried a little with gratitude for having such a great mom, who taught me to have the confidence and knowledge to face life.

Growing up in home where my father had died when I was 10, I was faced numerous times with things that were broken in the house or projects that either my mom wanted done or something I wanted to tackle.  It was not uncommon when I needed something, for my mom to put me in the car, take me either to Samons Plumbing Supply located on 900 W where a grocery store now exists, or Sutherland Lumber over on Redwood Road.  She wouldn't have any idea generally what I was buying, but would let me try and figure it out and then pay for it at the cash register.  I sometimes would end back there two or three times during a project.  Mom was always willing to let us try and fix it and try more than common sense would suggest.

Seems like we were always engaged in a project.  This was a time with my
Mom, my nephew Evan and nieces Noelle and Emily as we cleaned out
my Dad's home in Richfield after my Step-Grandmother passed away.  I drove
this 1964 GMC truck during High  School (the gas gauges never worked).
Mom always liked to have a truck around

Sometimes, I would get frustrated with a plumbing or electrical project and tell my mom to call Frank Dahn, a plumber who was a retired firefighter, or my uncle, MC Laird to see if they would come fix the problem.  Half the time, they would instruct her to put me on the phone, indicating that I could fix it and try and talk me through it and then would say, "Call me back if you can't get it".  In the case of Frank, didn't he ever want to have a paid job!  Frequently I would then figure it out, and we would be on our way.  Years later, I realized both had the insight to see a widow who needed help and then training me was a way for them to succeed in doing so.

In the years that followed my father's death, Mom had three rental homes and a basement apartment.  I ended up fixing a lot of things over the years, and later would help wire a garage, greenhouse, or assist siblings, family or friends with their remodel projects.  I will on occasion see a need with some of the single women I home teach in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and really it's my mom helping to do the work.

For the record, the vacuum is running well and lives to see another day.  While Mom never was that mechanically inclined, she knew how to raise children to think for themselves. I just wanted to tell Mom thanks for helping me to fix the vacuum.

Mom at the demolition of the Court House on Library Square in preparation
for the construction of the new Main Library.  I'm holding Sarah as a baby.
Mom participated in the Mayor's Capitol Advisory Board that led to the
building of a bunch of facilities I ended up tearing down!

Meet the Mormons - A movie you should watch!

Attending the premier of Meet the Mormons, with Cathy and having our picture with
Jermaine Sullivan, Bishop of the Atlanta Ward
and one of the members of the LDS Church profiled in the movie.

It's no secret to friends and readers of my blog, that I love my faith.  (I guess friends could also be readers of my blog...)  In fact, I love to share my faith with others.  However even more important for me, is for others to understand who we are as a people and who we are not.  It's tough to always explain and many avenues in media often do a horrible job with that task.  Sometimes it's done in jest, a little self humor or someone having a little fun about you, usually works.  We all need to laugh at ourselves.  However there are times when people truly are insensitive toward one another both in the Church and outside.  Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints don't have an exclusive right to be idiots and those outside of our faith, aren't always insightful in their interpretation.  The reality is that most members of the Church have many characteristics of others and what we don't always share in belief, we hold in respect for one another.  I need to do a better job understanding others and I hope they would do the same.  For those wanting a better insight into those of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, the movie premier this weekend of Meet The Mormons allows one to do just that, within the safety of their local theater.

This movie, while originally created to be shown in the Legacy Theater of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and other visitor centers throughout the world, was found to be effective in helping others understand us for who we are or in other ways, who we want to become.  We are not a perfect people, but we aren't villains either.  Meeting tonight my friend Mitt Romney, reminded me that during the 2012 Presidential Election, how much people misunderstood our faith.  While this movie will not resolve all questions, it gives a wonderful overview of the personal challenges and lives of six wonderful members from different areas of life, who share a hope of being good people and love and respect their families.

Take a minute out of your schedule this weekend and go to the movies.  Any net proceeds from this effort go to the American Red Cross, no profits will come from the effort.  If this movie was originally created for a visitor center why show it in a theater?   Why not.  We watch a number of other movies about different aspects of life, should this be any less?  In fact, what better and more neutral venue to watch it for anyone than a move theater.  You get to choose, you can even walk out if you want, or take a friend back to watch it again.  This is a ticket work every dollar you'll spend.

Ogden Temple Dedication - Preparing the Rose Park Stake

On Saturday September 20th, members of the Rose Park Stake prepare our chapel
for the dedication of the Ogden Temple

As a Stake President, you have frequent thoughts about the welfare and needs within the membership of your Stake.  Some are general in nature, others more specific.  I try to act upon them when I feel prompted by the spirit of the Holy Ghost, but I am not perfect and sometimes I simply just miss things.  It is a challenge to say the least.  

A few weeks ago, after some leadership training for Stake Presidents in the area, and discussing Section 110 of the Doctrine & Covenants and the keys that were restored through the Prophet Joseph Smith, I was thinking about the dedication of the Kirtland Temple and why so many of the members had such powerful spiritual experiences associated with that dedication.  One direction that is clear, came from their individual consecration in building that Temple and their personal sacrifice associated with it.  Joseph Smith also gave them instruction on how to come prepared both physically and spiritually including preparation of the building itself.  I felt impressed that not only should members come worthily (there is a worthiness recommend required for all in attendance) but the building as an extension of the Ogden Temple should also be prepared.  While the Lord might not walk within its walls I did hope that to the extent possible, it might be worthy of it.  On a Saturday evening session of our Regional Conference, I invited every member in the Stake to join us on Saturday afternoon prior to the dedication to help us prepare the building and grounds so that we might be ready for the Temple Dedication.  I understood that there might be conflicts and it wasn't necessarily a sign of individual commitment, but where possible, old and young alike were invited to help us prepare our building.

Chairs that had years of use were cleaned and polished

Cleaning assignments were prepared and distributed.  Wards invited members the following Sunday and individuals were invited through Relief Societies, Priesthood Quorums and by friends.  You are never quite sure when that time comes, how individuals will respond.  Yet you know that's the impression you received and an exercise in faith is in order.  At the appointed hour, 4 p.m. individuals started arriving of all ages, both as families and as friends and my heart began to be full of gratitude as I witnessed the faith and dedication of the members of the Rose Park Stake.  They were scattered through the building from Primary Rooms to restrooms, Chapel to the grounds.  Each in their own part, looked at spots in need of a deep cleaning that went overlooked during our weekly cleaning assignments.  Members helped each other and in a period of about one hour, the building looked beautiful.

While many rooms were not used in the dedication, they were
still cleaned so that the whole building would reflect
the sacredness of the event

I love the Rose Park Stake Center.  It was built originally by much sacrifice of the members of the Stake and refurbished extensively with mechanical and seismic upgrades in 2007.  However on Sunday morning, when I arrived for my 7 a.m. Presidency Meeting, I arrived early and walked down the halls of the building to the chapel and I felt a spirit that I have never felt before in my nearly 49 years of being here.  I walked into the chapel, sat on the stand and looked out and reflected upon the commitment of the members in not only preparing the building, but in their attendance that day.   I felt the Lord's acceptance of their work, it was an overwhelming feeling. Close to 700 members came during three sessions and I believe each one felt the sacred nature of the occasion.  It will be impossible to maintain the pristine nature of the building going forward.  While it will be kept clean, it is a building intended for a variety of uses.  However for this one day, it was reflective both physically and spiritually as an extension of the Ogden Temple.  I am grateful for the tender mercies of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

To see more pictures of the cleaning efforts, click here